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Sexual can be defined as relating to having sex, sexual acts and sexual reproduction Harassment can be said to be a persistent attack and criticism causing worry and distress. It is commonly understood as behaviour that demeans, humiliates or embarrasses a person, and it is characteristically identified by its unlikelihood in terms of social and moral reasonableness. When we talk about sexual harassment, first thought is that the victim was harassed, and the harasser is to be blamed. But what if I say, must victims be the cause of the harassment, let dwell into ladies who are victims of circumstance, and why they should be blamed and not only the harasser. Like we all know, every human has a Sexual feeling, but it depends on how you control yours.
Most especially, males have higher sexual urges than females. As the day passes by, we have cases on sexual harassment. But why do I say that a lady, as a victim, can also be blamed for the harassment. With my following reasons, I explain reasonable reasons beyond doubt for you. We have: Urge for materialistic wants Greed Obtaining good grades in university For fame Money Inappropriate dresses
URGE for MATERIALISTIC WANTS
Few ladies out there are really engrossed with materialistic things and they don’t mind going any length to get it. When they see their fellow ladies who had such materialistic things like designers bag, shoes and car, not knowing if they are from a wealthy home, they will want to live up to that standard of carrying materialistic things too, then they end up involving themselves in illicit act, most especially going around with big men luring them into collecting there money, forgetting that nothing goes for free if it’s illegal and then they find them self trouble when the man is trying to make sexual advancement towards them if they resist, he would definitely force himself on them after all, he has be buying all the materialistic things she wanted.
GREED
It means a selfish desire for more than is needed, especially of money, wealth, food, or other possessions. It’s a really dangerous thing in a person’s personality. Some ladies want everything to themselves, they are never satisfied with the little they have, not knowing all fingers are not equal. Especially the university female student, they desire more of money, possession like car, housing in school to live a royal life not considering their background and appreciating the little their parents are sending to them, and this lead them into following unwanted people in their lifes like Yahoo boys, sugar daddies party guys etc all in the name of getting more to what they have.not knowing that sex would be paid in return, after all they are sexy ladies and they are attractive, so they demand for sex and when they refuse they get rape. *
FOR FAME
Most females get raped and feel less concerned about it because of the fame they are aiming to attain. Nowadays, few ladies just want to be famous in any means, even if they become sexually harassed. Permit me to sight an example with a music industry, where you need connection to be there you have the talent,but can’t be and you want to be there under any circumstances, females are likely to be sexually harassed before attaining access into the industry. Some females even beg to be sexually harassed just because they’re really in need of a position in an organization or company.
OBTAINING GOOD GRADES
in UNIVERSITY Some female students in the university feel that the institution is a place where they can do and undo without their parents’ instructions. They believe they have gotten to the highest stage of maturity where no one can stop or control their activities. Students like this just come to school to create gangs, feel among and do other illicit acts. They don’t attend lectures, don’t write tests or even write exams but they want to pass. Now the question is how? Most of them dress seducively to the lecturers office, and lure them into falling for them and in return the lecturer will have to pass them but no sex then, all they do is massage the lecturer and do other stuffs with them. The lecturer in question is a man of cause, and if you do all this, he will want sex. Indeed it will be difficult for the female to overthrow a man when he wants sex, because they become a bit violent and when he ask but you refuse, they intend to satisfy their self, by forcefully having sex with you, which is rape.
INAPPROPRIATE DRESSES
Studying your environment also means studying the people around, it really matters a lot. It helps you to know the type of dresses that are to be worn around the area. Some ladies,like coping with what they see on television like the models and actresses, do not consider their environment. They wear appropriate clothes that expose all parts of their body, clothes that are supposed to be worn indoors, they wear it outdoors. Let’s take an example of an environment full of grown men all around, who are not in school, those doing mechanical work and such and picture ladies who wear inappropriate dresses all around the area, walking and showcasing all the endowment God has installed on them. We know men/guys have high sexual urges and only a few can control themselves. On seeing sexy ladies, passing all around with exposed cloth and they would want to exploit them by throwing sexual advances towards them, and If they refuse, they will be raped.
MONEY
Like the saying goes, money is the root of all evil. Few ladies have indeed brought harm upon themselves all in the name of money. Let’s take a look at cases in secondary School. You see a female student, after school, going to ‘an uncle’ as they call them to greet him, because he said you are fine, and when you asked him for money, he gave you. Since then, after school you are always going there, someone you don’t even know, you have enough courage to go to his house uninvited, and then you become sexually harassed by him and place the blame on him instead of yourself.
Same thing goes for female student In the university, they harbor around guys in the institution just to extract money from them, not even knowing the source or anything a day comes, money was requested he asked if you could follow home to get the money and the answer if yes, getting to his Lodge, you get sexually harassed by him.
Bio: Fatima Subuola Abdulrahman, is a student of Usmanu Danfodiyo University Sokoto, she is a poet, and also a campus writer, her area of interest is basically on human rights, equality and equity, gender based violence. She candid for mentorship and internship. She is reachable via: email/ teemahabdul2002@gmail.com Whatsapp/ 07085340384.
Nicely penned, there are some circumstances you cited in the article that some female/ladies can go any length to acquire fame, roll out with latest fashion style out ! This is indeed a bitter truth.
Most of what you said are true but you underplayed the clause of “consent” in rape situations. You need to realize that it is still rape if consent is given under duress. All your reasons about fame,good grades and money raises the question of why women or ladies have to go through all these lengths to get it in the first place( perfect reasons are unequal pay, women working twice has hard to get promoted or recognized in whatever fields they are in and the proverbial glass ceilings in most working places)All these shows how the society is stacked against the growth of females (mostly through cultural beliefs thats even being incorporated in religious spaces, dont let me even start on how women have to choose between religion or culture and being free to be successful in life)and how females have to go through absurd means to suceed( this world isn’t black and,white you know…..). Also, it is one thing for someone to have a shortcoming but then it’s another thing to keep preying on those shortcomings and using it as an excuse for irresponsibilities( this will make you wonder why we have crimes like “raping of a minor”, “rape in marriage ” or sex-for -grades when in most cases the victims did not outrightly say no against it). Finally, when inappropriate dressings are used as an excuse by rapist and by society to blame the victim, you wonder why females in highly religious societies are raped(these are places where there’s dress codes and all )and in extreme cases boys and babies . It just point out the facts that we have irresponsible men who can’t control their desires and women are constantly being advised to literally accommodate these men and their actions. This makes me wonder if there will be any guarantee for these uncultured men to not event another reason to rape females even if we all begin to dress as what most people term “appropriate “. At the end of the day every women have the ultimate right to freely dress the ways she wants just like every man does…..changing style of dressing doesn’t stop a female from being a prey as long as the root causes of all these are not effectively battled in societal spaces.