My Heart Beats for you
by Yusuf Abdulwasii (LITERATUS)
I turned the key as the door opened. Entering inside the house I closed the door behind me. I entered the hall. I saw Akira bhabhi (sister-in-law) sitting at the dining table eating mangoes. I went to greet her. I was looking forward to talk to her but I didn’t get the chance.
“Asslamu Alaikum!” I went towards her and gave her a smile.
She ignored me completely and continued eating her mangoes. I felt my blood boil. But I calmed down and then started to make a conversation with her.
“How are you?” I asked her.
She simply replied with a ‘hmm’, I finally decided to get down to the point.
“Api (sister), why don’t you cook meals for the house? I mean you are a daughter. You should cook and help Ma in household chores.”
“I do not wish to cook! I should be treated like a princess here! My parents gave me away so that they can treat my like a queen, not a worker!”
“But just because your parents gave you away doesn’t mean you are going to be treated like a queen! There are some responsibilities which you need to take care of after marriage and that includes household chores! This is how love grows in the family! Do you know because of you this family has fallen apart! You use Inayat bhai! Do you even love him? Or his money?” I said in a semi-angry tone.
Her eyes widened for a second. She refused to meet my gaze. She looked down at the floor.
“Answer me? Do you love him?”
“Of course I do! I love him a lot. But he just doesn’t seems to realize it. He does not talk to me until and unless it’s related to work. Most of the time he ignores me! I have been married to him for five years! But never did he say he loved me! I should be having a kid now but it feels like this marriage is completely broken!” Tears gushed out of her eyes. I immediately ran towards her side and comforted her. She sobbed on non-stop for an hour while I whispered soothing words. Her sobs soon turned into hiccups. She looked up at me.
“You see life is not always rainbows and unicorns. It does not go how you want it to be. You need to make right decisions to make it flow how you want. There was one thing missing. Love. You never truly showed him your love. You never gave love to this house. Did you even once ask him about his whereabouts? No, you didn’t. Do you make food for him witg your own hands for him with love? No you did not! It all takes a little bit of courage and love to set things straight! Now get up and make things straight before you are all alone.”
She nodded and hugged me tightly. I returned the hug back.
“But how am I supposed to do that?” She asked me.
“First of all you’ll make tonight’s dinner. Smile at them. Show them you care. Maybe they will realize you are a different person.” I answered.
“But I do not know how to cook.” I sighed, now what to do. I’ll surely teach her some recipes with the help of Noush.
“Fine, today I’ll cook and while you make the dessert. Okay?”
She nodded and went towards the kitchen. I went to my room to get changed. When I came out I saw Shahveer wasn’t present in the room. He must have gone to the office and hasn’t returned yet.
I went downstairs to the kitchen and started making Haleem. Akira Api was making custard and pudding with help of the instructions given in the packet. She often asked me if she didn’t understand something.
After two hours dinner was finally ready. Akira api helped me to set the table. She bought jug full of water while I arranged the plates. We placed the dishes in the middle. I told Akira api to call everyone for dinner. She was nervous at first but decided to do it so.
Soon everyone came down. Inayat bhai settle down. He looked around, thinking what to eat first. Akira api went and stood beside him. She asked him that what would he like to eat. He was shocked. So were the other people at the table. The only person missing was Shahveer. Ya Allah, where has he disappeared?
Ma asked me about Shahveer and I told her he is out somewhere. She told me to call him. I excused myself and went outside, to the garden. I dialed his number and called him. I waited anxiously as the phone ringed. The phone call was cut off.
I called him again, worried that something might have happened to him. Four calls and he didn’t answer any of them. I was pacing in the garden. I prayed to Allah that nothing happens to him. I called him for the last time. This time he answered.
“Where on earth are you?! Huh? It’s ten at night! Where are you-” I was cut off when arms wrapped around my waist pulled me towards a hard chest making me turn around. I looked up to see him looking back at me.
“I’m here!” He said as he pecked my cheek. My cheeks flushed red as I looked down at the grass. Hmm…this is interesting.
“So my wife is worried about me?” He asked in a teasing manner. I slapped his arm playfully.
“Of course I am. You have never been out to late and you didn’t even answer my calls.” I pouted.
He groaned and closed his eyes. He blinked them repeatedly before picking me uo bridal style.
“What are you doing?!” I asked him in a panicked tone.
“Taking you inside.” He simply said.
“But everyone’s eating inside having dinner. They’ll see us. Please put me down!” I sounded desperate.
“So what? Let them see. You are my wife. I can hold you whenever I want.”
“Please Shahveer! It’s…it’s embarrassing! Please put me down.” I spoke in a hushed tone.
He looked at me for a while before putting me down. We both walked inside. Ma smiled at us as she saw us. We sat down on our respected chairs and began eating. Today, I felt something different. The atmosphere looked more pleasent. Everyone was laughing. Akira api was blushing because of Inayat Bhai’s gaze. It felt like home.
“So when am I getting the good news of being a grandmother?” Ma asked.
I choked on my food and started coughing. Shahveer handed me a glass of water. Finally my coughing calmed down. I saw Akira api blushing madly. Inayat bhai winked at her and she blushed even more.
“Shanzay beta, I was not talking about you.” I sighed in relief. “I was referring to Inayat. It’s been five years.”
“Soon mom, soon.” Inayat bhai said.
“I expect the good news from you to Shahveer.” He simply smiled at her and winked at me. I scowled at him.
After washing the dishes I went towards my room. Shahveer and me have gotten closer. He makes me smile. He makes me happy. He is there to cheer me up. But I still can’t forget that he left me. It hurts every time I think about it. Maybe, he is pretending all this.
I sat down on the bed thinking about what had happened on our wedding. It hurt so much. Was he regretting his decision all this time? Was he pretending all this? This love crap? He must be waiting for the right time to divorce me, and humiliate me. I felt tears at the back of my eyes. My eyes stinged.
Shahveer came out of the bathroom wearing a blue big checkered shirt with black pants. I looked away trying to control my tears.
“Shanzay come on! It’s late. We should sleep.” I ignored him and grabbed my pillow and blanket, walked to the couch that Shahveer placed back in the room last week.
I settled down on the below and closed my eyes. I felt him come closer to me, he grabbed my hands with both of his. I sat up abruptly. He was sitting on his knees looking up at me with a concerned look. I looked away immediately.
“What’s wrong? Why are you upset? Did I do something?” I glared at him.
“Tell me? Why are you doing all this? Why are you pretending that you love me? Why? I know this is all fake! If you hate me why did you even marry me in the first place? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Why?” I was crying by now. I had stood up and was now leaning against the cupboard, crying.
He came towards me and held me by my waist.
“What gave you that idea? Huh? You think my love for you is fake? I was waiting to humiliate you?! How can you even think like that?” He asked me in a semi-calm tone.I looked up at him with teary eyes.
“I know you are lying! Please stop! Just leave me alone! Please!” I pushed him away and sobbed.
“But-” I cut him off. I wiped my tears away. I had vowed I wouldn’t break down infront of him.
“Go away.” I shouted at him. He didn’t love me anymore. I knew that very well. He is destroying me completely! Crazy? Yeah right!
“No I won’t.” He said and pulled me towards him. I tried to push him with my elbows against his chest but no avail.
His grip tightened even more and pulling me close to him. I stared at him. He did the same. And suddenly tears were streaming down my face. No!! I promised myself I wouldn’t break infront of him. I cried even more. His forehead was now resting against mine.
“Shhh…” He said putting a finger on my lips. My eyes widened as I felt butterflies in my stomach. He wiped my tears away and leaned forward.
“Angel….” He murmured. His lips against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
The next second, he slammed his lips against mine.